The Sensuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries immense meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the chance to have sex with someone we are drawn in to very difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective feelings of destination, enjoyment, closeness, wellness, and love .

But when problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that many of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in cosmopolitan locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sex. Numerous gay men wish to learn from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or go to the website not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off have a peek at this website and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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