The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings immense meaning and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be good also).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to extremely hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), like it which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, well-being, love, and closeness .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They probably would not confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that a lot of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cities, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sexual activity. Lots of gay men want to discover out from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow with time.

When a knockout post the look at here now hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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