The Sensuality Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex carries immense meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to extremely hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful feelings of attraction, anchor enjoyment, well-being, love, and nearness .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They probably wouldn't confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that much of his click here to read customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in urbane locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. Numerous gay men wish to learn from the starting if a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow over time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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