The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are attracted to exceptionally difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, love, nearness, and well-being .

But when problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They probably would not admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that much of his customers have fallen into the this content Sex Trap.

" For gay next guys specifically in cities, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. If a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible, lots of gay men desire to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I think this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is crucial. Yet, chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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