The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries enormous significance and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to extremely hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, love, closeness, and well-being .

However when issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They probably would Resources not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, says that numerous of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in urbane locations, sex is easily available, and image source that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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